


Tiny socks and a flash of red

by gp120



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 21:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5180183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gp120/pseuds/gp120
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short little AU starting from Crowley's and Jody's "date" in season 8. The date was more successful and had consequences...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written fast without beta. I needed a laugh. Any comments are appreciated. Could become a multi chapter thing at some point.  
> I own nothing and will not make any money out of this.

“You did not think to use condoms!? You are over 300 years old! You should know better!”  
“You should know your biology, Squirrel! Interspecies procreation is not possible! You can’t mate eagles with chicken!”  
“Crowley, donkeys. Fucking donkeys exist!”  
“….bollocks”

The day Jody Mills showed up with a positive pregnancy test at their door, the Winchesters had been busy summoning Crowley into a demons trap. Apparently the “date” way back had gone better than expected.  
Despite the homicidal aspects of the evening, Jody had been adequately charmed and drunk. After stumbling out of the ladies room, Crowley had looked adorably concerned. He offered to take Jody home. He even stopped by a pharmacy. To pick up something for Jody’s apparent nausea. Clearly not condoms. After unnaturally domestic shuffle to the bedroom to get Jody comfortable, she remembers Crowley grouching next to the bed with a glass of water. His eyes had been soft. And she had been a tad bit horny and kissed him. One thing led to other things, on flat surfaces, and culminated on a pharmacy-bought stick with a bit of pee on it a few months later. 

“So isn’t there something you could do, princess? I am aware of the Planned Parenthood and all that. By the way, not my idea to put those up. Teen pregnancies trump up much business.”  
“Too late for that, you ass” Jody was getting upset. She had thought about it first thing. Obviously. She was no spring chicken. She already felt guilty seeing how she was the one to fondle Crowley with intent while enthusiastically chanting “Yes, yes, yes!” Jody had felt immeasurably dirty and at first resented the fetus.  
Of course Sam had to be rational and start on research: “Has this happened before, Crowley? Any info on the process?”  
“What? NO! I have not been banging my way through the humanity for decades. I have been busy, you morons!”  
“I mean, has there been a half human half demon child around. This is no longer all about you alone, Crowley”. They were aware of angels sowing their seed on rare occasion. At least that is what Castiel contributed to the crisis resolution meeting. Those kids did at least live relatively normally in society. And as far as Castiel could tell, there was some sort of secondary soul inside Jody. It was just a bit difficult to detect. 

“Are you after alimony here, Jody? You sure it is mine?”  
The slap was louder than expected. Jody looked furious. And Crowley seemed more surprised than he had any right to.  
“I am keeping the child….thing. If it shows demonic evil character, it will be all yours, Crowley. Just so you know.”  
“What?! I can’t have a brat under foot in hell! Do I look like the breast feeding kind to you, Jody?”  
“Better hope it has a functional soul then!”  
“Fine! Now let me out! I am busy!” As there was nothing they could think of to demand from Crowley at the moment, Sam broke the devils trap. And with that, Crowley had left the realm, leaving the Winchesters to deal with Jody.

“Demons are made by possession? So the kid should be safe, right?” Jody tried to remain positive. It was not like she had expected Crowley to get involved or even show interest in the pregnancy. To think of it, enthusiastic interest would have been concerning.  
“Well…not really. Possession is what demons do. If it has a physical form and it grows, it would be premature to worry about pushing out a cloud of smoke out on the big day.” Dean had never been the most sensitive guy, but after that sentence left his mouth, he had the decency to look embarrassed.  
This did not reassure Jody one bit. However, the ultrasound the next day did wonders. They could see the now 3 month old fetus clearly. It was corporeal. The doctors congratulated her on the pregnancy and assured everything looked to be in order, normal.  
Maybe it would be just a normal human baby. No tail, horns, or wings. The pregnancy advanced as expected and Jody was starting to glow just like during her last. It was bitter sweet to feel everything again. Something was very different now though. And as the last trimester started, Crowley appeared in her living room.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
“Jody you witch! What have you done to me?!”  
“I…nothing?”  
The sudden nausea and weight gain Crowley had experienced in the past month had been bad for business. His tailor had to work extra time and a bucket next to his throne was just barely less humiliating than puking a perfectly fine crème burlee on the current king of cross-roads.  
“I thought the fetus was in you and not me! I was supposed to be scot free!”  
“Oh? Were you now?”  
“Yes! And here I am looking like an incubator and feeling like crap! Explain yourself! Why are you laughing?”  
“Sympathetic pregnancy, Crowley. A rare complication of the father. Hormones getting all wonky. Your meat suit is very sympathetic it seems.”  
“But I have stayed away for months!”  
“Well it’s not like this is the normal pregnancy! You are a demon! And an absolute ass, who deserves to be at least half as uncomfortable as...oh. Wow. Uh. Okay.”  
“What?”  
“It just kicked.”  
“What….really?”

Crowley stared at Jody’s belly with vary curiosity. This seemed like a botched up possession by baby. Could the thing tell what it was doing? Did it hear what was said? Did it understand? Maybe he should have done some research on this.  
“Dean told you had a child when you were human. This should not be a surprise, Crowley.”  
“It was a different time. My wife kept to herself during the pregnancy and died in childbirth…”  
That made Jody feel a bit sorry for Crowley. And grateful for modern medicine.  
“You want to…um… feel it?”  
“I…maybe?”  
The hand on her stomach was very warm. And a bit clammy. There was another small kick and Crowley felt it on his fingertips. It was amazing. Fragile form of something powerful and full of potential. 

“Has it been doing this long?”  
“No. This was the first time”  
“Is it always like that?”  
“Not the whole time. Justin kicked when he heard the radio. She might just react to your voice.”  
“She?”  
“Right. The ultrasound was last week.”  
There was another kick.  
“Oh. So a daughter. A female child. Or thing. It looks human?”  
“Yes! You idiot! Here, I’ll show you the ultrasound picture. This is the head, hands and legs. And if you squint, you might see the fingers…”  
Crowley was quiet as he stared at the offspring’s first photo. He sat down. It was real. It was likely human-ish. It was his. She was his. He could hardly hear Jody talking. And he was not paying attention. Gavin had been a hateful thing that killed his wife. This was a different time. She was less likely to die in childbirth. There were playgrounds and puppies. And his eyes landed on a pair of tiny socks on the sofa table. 

“Crowley? Crowley, did you need something?”  
“I don’t know….”  
“Well I am heading to get the crib as I still can move. I am sure you can find you way out.”  
No. He was the father. No way would any offspring of his sleep in a Swedish 20-in-a-dozen bed. If he did this, maybe his symptoms would go away.  
“No! I… can I… come with?”  
“What?”  
“I will get the kid a crib. Nothing from IKEA. She is half mine you know.”  
“Excuse me, I thought you wanted nothing to do with this! Is this your hormones doing things to your mushy brain?”  
“I… No? I could just give you a credit card. And burn every IKEA on Earth. If that would be… less awkward?”  
Crowley turned out to be great at shopping. He got quite a deal from the staff of Maury’s Furniture. Even without exchange of souls.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
The D day was nearing and Crowley was getting anxious. The minions and groveling idiots of hell could not do anything right, or at least fast enough. And he might have made suspicious number of trips to Jody’s while she was asleep. He even had George, his favored underling, possess a nurse during the latest pre-natal visit to get the scoop on everything. The doctor said everything looked normal. Jody seemed fine. Big as a whale, but fine.  
Then on a Thursday night during one of his “visits”, Jody woke up. 

“YOU ABSOLUTE CREEP!”  
“I’m a demon! What did you expect? I need to look over my investment.”  
“I need to go to the bathroom. Out of my way, peeping Tom.”  
She did not make it to the restroom. And that was not urine staining her rug.  
“Crowley… I think my water broke… I need to get to the hospital.”  
“What…? Now?”  
“Yes! Now! Did you not just see this?”  
“So teleport?”  
“No, you ass! I am not risking the baby with unknown side-effects.”  
“I need to drive? With that thing? I don’t even know how to get to the hospital!”  
“Well this is your punishment for creeping into my bedroom! I bet the shock started the labor!”  
“That is bullshit! If that was the reason, you would have gone into labor days ago!”  
“Excuse me?! This is not the first time?! You utter asshole!”  
“Never mind that… Keys?”

Needless to say, the inventor of GPS was going to get a fruit basket from hell. Truly, a lifesaving invention. Jody was breathing weird in the passenger seat, cursing impressively. Crowley had no idea she was so inventive. The pain must have been exceptionally inspiring. The nurses would also be getting something special from hell. Maybe muffins. The epidural was magic.  
“So would the father like to suit up now or later?”  
“What?”  
“To assist with the birth of course. She should be ready to push in about half an hour.”  
“I…”  
“Yes, he will suit up now! This is his fault!” Jody growled from the bed.  
It could not be all that bad right? And he had been orchestrating torture for centuries. A birth could not be that bad. New life and tears of joy and all that. Donned in the most humiliating gown and head protection, Crowley stood beside the bed as the doctor assessed Jody.  
The doctor’s calm “I think we are ready to start pushing” did not prepare him for the sheer volume of screaming and the grip Jody had on his hand for good 30 minutes straight. During one of the breaks he got curious and took a peek at the main area of action. A mistake. Good thing he had an excellent control of his vessels bodily functions. That did give some brand new ideas for hell. Perpetual childbirth as a punishment did sound adequate method of punishment. Rapists could always try something new apart from the cactus experiments George had been conducting.

Hours later it seemed Jody’s screams got louder. And the doctor seemed more alert with the nurses swarming around. He felt his pinky fracture. And then there was a different kind of scream. High pitched and angry.  
“Would the father like to cut the cord?”  
“Huh…?”  
“The umbilical cord? It is traditional.”  
“Fine. Just here? Scissors? Really? Not a ceremonial knife or something?”  
“Crowley, will you just do it…?” The soft plea from Jody got him moving and the whole process seemed so clinical. And then the nurse put the baby on his arms. He had not held Gavin after his birth. It was so light. And wrinkly. But there was so much hair too. Dark hair. No horns. Not that there would be. Demons didn’t have horns. That was just something humans insisted on. The fingers were tiny. The size of those socks made complete sense. And the whole bundle was making displeased noises. Then it opened its eyes. And Crowley saw them flash red.  
Well shit.  
Feeding seemed too intimate for him to watch. Crowley thought about telling Jody about the flash of red. But that could be normal for babies, right? Too early to get her all worried.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the baby...spawn....thing gets home, the real work starts for Crowley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could not resist continuing the story. Any comments are appreciated as always. And if grammar mistakes are found, I would love to know... English is not my first language.

Jody was asleep. The hospital seemed quiet. And Crowley could not leave. What if the red eyes just popped up while Jody was feeding her? Or what if the nurses noticed?  
The little cot she was laying in was unacceptable. No spawn of his would sleep in that. So he ended up holding her for a bit on the rocking chair. The nurses found it adorable. He found it annoying. This is why he got the crib. And the little hat was just ridiculous. It was too pink. As soon as the night nurse was out of sight he changed the color to acceptable black.   
The snap of his fingers woke the baby. Of course. Jody started to stir. The nurse wandered back. Not a moment of peace.

“I think it is time daddy learned how to change a nappy!” the too cheery nurse claimed. Possibly just to allow Jody more rest. “The older parents sometimes have trouble with the new diapers and staying up all night” Crowley did not have the heart to tell he did not actually sleep. Or how old he really was. The bit about diapers was probably true though.  
“Why are there so many flaps and this much glue?!”  
Seriously being a demon will come so handy for this stuff. Snap of the fingers gets all this disgusting stuff taken care of. He would do it the hard way just for show. Just this one time.   
“Sir, the glue side does not go on the baby!”  
“How else is this thing going to stay in place?”

If he had to take on any responsibility of the kid, she was going to be the fastest potty trained human. Demon? Spawn? As long as the red flashes did not come back, Jody would be doing this anyway. And maybe that one time was just a fluke. Nothing to worry about really.   
The child fell asleep briefly after the diaper episode. They still had to think about names. Nothing biblical obviously. But nothing too modern. He would refuse to call her “Apple” or “Blender” or whatever the newest craze with kid names was. He had liked Moira or Aline. Something a bit traditional. Jody wanted to name her Anna or Christine. So bland.   
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
In the end Christine Aline Mills left the hospital with Jody and Crowley. In the car. Crowley had already sent the fruit basket for the inventors of GPS. Now that he thought of it, some items did stretch the definition of “fruit basket” quite a bit. But surely they could deal with the simple decorative omnivorous snapping pear. They were smart people and it was a traditional treat in some planes of existence.   
“I can’t believe I did not get the nursery done in time” Jody did sound a bit upset as they were nearing the house. Crowley smiled to himself. It really paid off eavesdropping the other mothers in the hospital. One could gleam a wealth of information and tasty little tidbits for amusement as well.   
“What do you think I am? An imbecilic ass? Don’t answer that! Took care of it this morning. You’re welcome.”  
“How?”  
Crowley just glared at her and snapped his fingers, producing a stuffed bear with little horns and a pitch fork on Jody’s lap.  
“Oh… Thank you?”  
The light grays and muted pink highlights were tasteful and appropriate for a royal…spawn… He did not mention the wards he had put in place. The spawn would be a considerable threat if ever used against him. Maybe the flash of red meant she was at least a bit capable of defending herself. Testing that theory would have to wait. 

They pulled in next to the house and clambered into the living room. The little socks were still on the coffee table.   
“Hold her while I go to the bathroom”  
“What? You are ordering me around now? I am not even your husband!”  
“Well you are here and I need to pee. Hold your kid.”  
And thus Crowley was left alone with Aline. She was asleep. Good.  
Crowley sat on the sofa carefully. And got a bit curious. The socks were right there. He could just put them on the thing. The feet were so tiny. Would they be too big? How does this work? Does one hold the kid in one hand and the sock in the other? No. Does not work. Both hands need to be on the sock. On the sofa the baby goes. Carefully. The eyes opened. No red thus far. All good apart from little fussing sounds. Okay, socks. He slid the garment on the foot. And all hell broke loose. The wail was high pitched and the feet started to move frantically.   
“What the heck are you doing?!”  
“Nothing! Just….socks….”  
“What?”  
“They were there and the feet….”  
“She does not like them apparently. Take it off. And she was asleep…if she doesn’t sleep tonight, I blame you. Just so you know.”  
As soon as the sock was off, the baby quieted. And it was concerning that he had not noticed the red eyes until they changed back to normal – just as Jody stepped closer.   
“Did she just….?”  
“What?”  
“Her eyes looked funny just then.”  
“You are just being sleep deprived and over vigilant. I didn’t see anything.”  
“No, I am sure something flickered.”  
“The eyelids?”  
“No? Maybe?”  
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. It must be a reaction to being upset or threatened. This would have to be tested. It would be better to know the general triggers and then get rid of them. There was no way he was equipped to handle an infant in hell. Crowley could imagine the boatload of shit he would be getting from the minions for wearing a BabyBjorn for torture sessions. Cramping his style has to be avoided by any means necessary.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
Thus began the experimental sessions with Crowley. Jody got suspicious when he started to take over childcare tasks, often ushering her to take a bath, a nap, a walk, or offering a spa day out of the blue.   
He tried the socks again. Red flash and screaming as a result. Turned out the material was unacceptable to Aline. Only the finest cotton and silk would do.  
He tried startling the thing with his own red eyes. No reaction.   
He tried loud noises at nap time. Red.  
The TV and radio seemed fine. The vacuum cleaner was not okay. He would have to arrange for a cursed vacuum cleaner with appropriate spells. The microwave was fine as well as the doorbell.   
Turning the lights on and off was a bad idea. And that was going to be a problem. At least her room had night lights. Probably the only reason Jody had not noticed anything.   
After a while Crowley thought he got through most of the triggers and subtly eliminated each and every one of them. Luckily Jody was too exhausted to make a note of the night lights in every room of the house. Or the extravagant sock collection.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
One day Aline actually looked at him and not the space around him while he was changing the diaper. And she smiled without teeth. Suddenly Crowley became aware of Aline as a person. Maybe he shouldn’t have cursed and muttered quite as much as he did. The kid was actually listening. At least he thought so.  
Holy shit. How was he supposed to deal with this thing now? Would he have to talk to her like to a person? How did one start that?  
“Hello” That seemed appropriate and generic enough.  
All he got back was a dripping line of drool. And a fist found its way into the tiny mouth.   
“What do you want?”  
More drooling and a smile formed around the fist. The feet flailed a bit as if that was an answer. He picked her up and held her at an arm’s length from his suit. The feet calmed down. Okay. That was doable.   
“I am your...um…King...?”  
Gurgling squeal possibly meant she understood and approved. There was a small “snick” of a phone camera being used. Jody stood at the nursery door with a soft smile.  
“She started to make eye contact last week. I figured it would make things a bit more interesting for you. Although I am impressed of your dedication thus far.” Right. The experimentation just took a long time.   
“Hmm. Yes. This will be interesting. Do they understand words and what not at this stage?”  
“Not really. I think the tone of a voice matters more.”   
“Hmm.”  
Aline started kicking around a bit as Jody came to view. Crowley handed her over and the kicking stopped again. Communication by feet. Interesting. What if she started to talk and gives away the big red secret? How does one impress on a child the importance of keeping a secret without scaring them?   
Maybe he should start showing the kid his red eyes. Make it more normal, a non-interesting everyday thing.

Crowley showed his red eyes to Aline every time he visited from then on. The change seemed to entertain the child endlessly. She giggled and smiled, wiggling her fists toward the flashing orbs on Crowley. And Crowley thought he was making progress on the normalization front efficiently. Laying on the floor next to the kids’ activity thing with all kinds of dangly bits made the flashing eyes seem just part of the entertainment, right?  
Bobby visited once while Crowley was there. With a little fluffy stuffed dog as a gift. Aline took to the dog rather nicely, which pleased Bobby visibly. The texture seemed satisfying to her. When Jody asked Crowley to change the diaper, Crowley muttered but recognized it as an opportunity. An opportunity to let the humans talk and have a little bit of a listening exercise. They would talk about him for sure.   
“…..seems to take to the child rather keenly…”  
“I know! I got to go to a spa and everything. Twice!”  
“He working an angle here, Jody? You know not to trust ‘im, right?”  
“Of course he is up to something. I am well aware, Bobby. Christine seems to like his visits though. And I get a break every now and then. And see…” The smartphone must have come out. The picture of him holding Aline when she first really looked at him.  
“….well Jesus on a cheese platter… He really is hands on with her….”  
“I know. Maybe he’s trying to make up for the time he never had with his son way back when.”  
“On the floor next to the play pen, with his fancy suit? That is dedication” What? On the floor? He would never! Oh… wait. Maybe. He needs to get his hands on that phone.  
“Ya think it’s healthy?”  
“No harm in it really. Christine seems happy. And having a father figure is important for kids”  
“What am I? Minced meat? You don’t have to settle for a demon, father of the kid or not!”  
Well, Bobby why don’t you tell how you really feel…. Good to know though. Although rather unsurprising.  
“Really Bobby? And you would be here once a month or so? Crowley comes by almost every other day. It is his kid too. And he doesn’t hurt Christine at all”  
“Ya sure?”  
“I ain’t stupid. Nanny cams really are handy”

Crowely went pale and started to feel nauseous. Did she see the eyes? Bollocks! Aline started to fuss. He changed the diaper absentmindedly. And tried to keep his ears peeled to the conversation, which had slipped to the Winchesters and their daddy issues.   
Even if she didn’t know about the eyes, he would have been banned from the house for experimenting on a child, right? Unless she was scheming something. Jody, though? Highly unlikely. Unless it was to get embarrassing photos of him as blackmail material. For whatever end. He had slipped into a worried trance while dangling the dog toy above Aline.   
“So, challenging diaper?” Jody’s voice floated clearly to his ear from behind his back. Startling he could only utter unintelligent ‘huh’ and turn to face her.   
“You seem stressed. Did something happen?”  
“Uh… no… Just hell being what it is”  
“Aha… And nothing about the conversation I just had with Bobby, right?”  
“Um… right…”  
“Seriously Crowley, you do know I love her more than anything. Nothing is going to change that at this point”  
“I know. Flesh and blood etc...”  
“So you can stop trying to hide her red eyes from me. She certainly does not. As I said, Nanny cams are extremely useful”  
He could hear the blood rushing to his legs and leaving his face pale. Holy shit, she knew.  
“How long have you known?”  
“A few days after getting home from the hospital. You do realize I spend time with her when you are not here. It was bound to come up when she got spooked. I did not realize the hairdryer was so loud.”

That one he had missed completely! It didn’t even occur to him to check her bathroom.   
“Jesus! And you let me make an ass of myself for months on end?!”  
“I have to admit it was entertaining. And I really enjoyed taking time off. It was really helpful”  
“You scheming minx! So do I have to take over her upbringing now?”  
“As I said, I love her no matter what. Apart from the eyes, she seems just like a normal child. I could not give her away.”  
“So you are just going to ignore this thing?”  
“No. We are going to keep an eye on it. And avoid cooking with salt just in case”  
Right. Salt and holy water. Devils trap? This stuff would have to be tested…


End file.
